My Molting Mug

One week ago I decided to under go a Chemical Peel. I was told it was fairly non-evasive. It resulted in the removing of skin deterioration, pock-marks and fine lines. There might be some discomfort. There could be some peeling, I was informed. I was told this by an esthetician who donned the skin of a new born baby. She looked fabulous, but she lied. The very name of "Chemical Peel", should have clued me in. You are chemically peeling your face off! If I dunked my face in a tub of Bleach, I would probably have less wrinkles, fewer pock-marks and the obliteration of acne scars. I also wouldn't have skin on my face. And it wouldn't cost me $139.00! The procedure was done in a beautiful, peaceful, spa environment. There was mood lighting, the smell of eucalyptus and essential body oils waffed through the air. In the distance I recall hearing a fountain. I know this because whenever in close proximity to water, I have to pee. And I had to pee during this experience. Anyway, the beautifully-skinned woman applied what she referred to as a "less evasive" peel. It had the consistency of Liquid Dish soap and smelled of Wintergreen. I enjoyed the facial massage that went along with the application. Skin-girl didn't seem to mind my absent-minded prattle. Then she handed me a large portable fan, giving instructions to pull a lever left for more wind and right for less and placed it on my stomach. Interesting...10 seconds after the expensive goop was rubbed into my skin a horrible burn scratched its way to the service. I panicked. Which way was I suppose to pull the lever for more air? Quietly, the woman with the beautiful skin, asked me to describe the pain. On a scale from 1-10 I was suppose to rate how much discomfort I was experiencing. I skipped the number 1 phase and began on a number 5. I was trying to "walk it off", refusing to be a wimp, while at the same time wonder if an epidural was included in the $139.00. Breathlessly, I blurted out "Seven!" It was really more of a 15, but I didn't want to admit that. 15 wasn't even on the pain registry! Luckily, it was short lived. When the procedure ended, I didn't look that much different. I was determined I could see immediate, visual improvements. On Tuesday, there was nothing different, maybe a little redness, but nothing to report. The next day the peeling began. I slathered sun-block 70 all over my face, and unfortunately in my eyes. BTW sun-block-eye-slather-pain lasts off and on for hours. Day three, I woke up, blistered, scabbed, peeling, and burning. I looked like I had literally fallen off the "turnip truck", and then the truck backed up over me. I couldn't eat (my mouth would split if I opened too, widely). I couldn't blink (my skin under my right eye would split). And, I couldn't laugh at my pitiful self (my face would gash open). I lived on 4 Advil and a Diet Coke every 4 hours that day and stayed hidden within the solace of my 3-bedroom Rambler. The following day I emerged. I had three doctor's appointments, and had to go to my College class. I felt awkward, naked, exposed. I couldn't wear makeup, I was sporting a hideous haircut from the week before, in order to prepare for a Lasik Optical exam I was wearing my dreaded glasses, and if I had to be in a swimsuit at the moment I would have shot myself. A woman from behind a drive-thru window confirmed my worst fears. She commented on my ugly hair. Saying that now I look like a "mommy". She then asked what was "going on" with my face and then informed me that I really should take a vacation; I needed to be hidden from the public looking the way I did. An hour and a half later I was sitting in a hair salon. Another two inches was cut off(a total of 6), and I began to breath again. The next day my face was better. My hair was better. I felt a little better. The day after that I was able to wear a bit of makeup, and my haircut was actually now on the cute side. Today, my face is much, much better. I went to my Optical exam and received great news. Soon, no more glasses or contacts. I am getting used to my haircut and don't jump when I see my reflection anymore. I can see I have a fresh look to my skin. My pores are tiny. Today, I began wondering if maybe I too, will become a skin goddess. I still have two more chemical peels to go and I feel confident that my acne scars will be gone soon, just in time for swimsuit season and sunburns!