Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Tanning Bed Blues or Articifially Sun-Kissed

I have a confession to make. I go tanning, in tanning beds and outside next to swimming pools. I know it is not fashionable and percievably scary, but I need the vitamin D. I don't do it daily. I don't do it weekly, but if I feel blue, I go tanning.
One night my hubby and I took a trip to the tanning salon. It had been a week two of heavy rain, and I just don't do well in rainy weather. I opted to go 13 minutes and was told to go to bed number 15.
I did. I stripped down to nothing in less than 3 minutes (the allotted time until the bed turns on) put on the "sun goggles", laid on the freezing plastic bed and waited. I also put my phone next to the pillow, just in case my kids called and placed my Mp3 ear buds in. Knowing that any minute, the bed would turn on.
Nothing happened.
I waited, shivering, a little longer.
Nothing.
I got up and went to the button on the wall and pressed the "begin" button.
Still nothing happened.
I was stark naked and wasn't sure how to proceed. Do I quickly get dressed and go to the front desk? Or, the salon was small, maybe I could just call out...
I called out, "Hello?"
No answer.
I called out louder, "Hello? Front Desk?"
The girl at the front desk answered, "What?"
"Um, the bed's not working in number 15."
"Yes it is. I see it's running." Was her reply.
Suddenly a thought followed by dread crept in me. What if I was in the wrong room?
I quickly got dressed and looked up at the posted room number.
13.
I ran into the next bed, the correct number 15 and giggled.
The girl from the front desk noticed my dash into the next bed and after she rolled her eyes and asked if I had been naked in the bed, told me she would re-set the time.
Again I stripped down, to nothing.
Then, I noticed I accidentally kept the "sun goggles" from the last bed.
I panicked.
Do I get dressed again and run next door to put them back? Do I keep them and take them back after my 13 minutes?
Truthfully I wasn't feeling like myself. I was humiliated.
Anytime I am naked, I feel uneasy.
Every time I go tanning, I have to take deep gulping breaths and tell myself, "It's OK. I'm OK."
But then to realize I disrobed in the wrong room and actually called out, calling attention to my stupidity, and nakedness, I wasn't thinking correctly.
So, I chucked the "sun goggles" as hard as I could, with a grunt, up over the partition wall, aiming for the vicinity of bed number 13.
I heard a loud high frequency "smack" as the goggles hit into the neighboring bed.
I held my breath.
Maybe the front desk girl didn't hear it.
Maybe the front desk girl wouldn't know it was me.
After realizing the allotted 3 minutes had ticked by, I jumped into my blazing sun bed and did everything I could to relax.
I told myself, "I don't ever have to go back into room 13, I replaced the goggles, kind-of...hopefully. It's alright".
I turned on my Mp3 and did my normal, sing-along, and back-dance as I waited for the 13 minutes to be up.
During the course of my third lip-sync I realized something else, "Where's my phone?"
I had left my phone, in bed 13, next to the head pillow, probably close to a pair of recently air-born protective eye wear.
Crap!
The last 6 minutes dragged on.
I kept watching the minutes, "Come on! Come on!"
What if my kids had tried calling?
What if someone else was occupying the bed now?
As soon as the vitamin D filled lights dimmed, I jumped out of the bed.
I threw on my clothes, minus my bra, which I shoved in my pants' pocket (keep in mind, I need to wear a bra, always, other wise I become quite Tribal).
I ran into the other room, relieved that no one else was in there.
I grabbed my phone, still exactly wear I had left it and did a quick scan to see wear the goggles had landed.
No such luck on the goggles. I never found them.
When I finally emerged, my husband was waiting. I was giggling nervously.
As we past the front desk, there was now two girls manning it. They looked at me and rolled there eyes.
This particular tanning session wasn't as relaxing as usual. Maybe I should have stayed at home and watched the rain.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Hero Status

Recently I heard a rumor that a childhood friend of mine had Breast Cancer. It was very dis concerning. So I contacted this person via facebook, asked to be her friend and she, the very next day accepted me as one. Also dis concerning. When I was in 10Th grade I had a falling out with a group of girls, the one with Breast Cancer happens to be one of them. When I asked to be a facebook pal of hers, I was expecting to be refused. I actually steeled myself for the rejection. However, with her "extended hand" per say I felt a wave of relief. Does she forgive me for my behavior in High School? Should I forgive her?
In what I was hoping to be a grand gesture, I wanted to let her know that I was thinking about her and worried about her. I wanted to give her hope and know I was pulling for her and wanted her to kick Cancer.
So I wrote on her facebook wall something to the effect of "when someone has a hurdle like this one, they automatically achieve HERO status"... then I wanted to end it with something inspiring. I wanted to say, "good luck, you are a hero. You can do it! You are a conqueror!" I posted it on her wall. About three minutes later my husband came home. I asked him to read what I had posted. I was nervous because I hadn't talked to her in over 16 years. I didn't want to offend her in anyway. I wanted to be a vessel of hope to her.
My husband read the short comment. Then he reread it slower.
"I thought she has Breast Cancer?" He turned and looked at me.
"She does." I answered.
"Huh. So she has a drug problem, too?" He asked.
"No." I went to the computer screen.
I had written the stuff about getting through hurdles in life and then I ended it wanting it to state, "Good luck Conquering HERO-INE" (as in you are a conquering female hero). How it read however was, "Good luck conquering heroine" (as in you are addicted to drugs. Very bad drugs, and good luck in rehab).
It had only been three minutes since I posted this message. I was able to quickly edit it to, "good luck conquering hero" and then I re posted it.
I just hope no one read her wall within that three minutes!
It made me think. I wonder how often I hear things wrong, see things wrong and accept things in a different way than what was intended.
I hope my friend can conqueror Breast Cancer.
I also hope I didn't out her as a druggie!