Easter Egg Blues

Sometimes I worry that I am stuck in the Twilight zone. It is as if I am the only person without the whole story and I am suppose to navigate through life trying to fit different pieces into the void. I sat at two Easter dinners, with nearly identical menus, and tried out different pieces. Who am I? Where do I fit in? This is my family, why is it I am still trying to fit in? Both sides of my family tree are generally alike, but then there are huge differences. I don't consider myself extreme, in any way and maybe that is why I feel misplaced. Maybe, it's because I want to hear all the sides of an issue before I commit to a side. Doesn't this mean I'm non biased? Isn't this good? Instead I am seen as a rouge;some weird transplant that doesn't function how it should, and doesn't quite match the other appendages. I am someone else's heart.
I learned in my yoga class about being at one with the earth and the best way to do this is by being a valley, not a mountain. A mountain stands tall, and loud and wants the whole world to understand that they are the mountain. But the valley is constant, sturdy, and strong. The valley is quiet and reserved. The valley is what holds up the mountain, without the valley, the mountain would be lost. In fact, the mountain upside down points in the wrong direction. The valley on the other hand, has no direction, it is the direction. This is my own interpretation, and maybe I don't quite have it down how I would like, but it's a working thesis.
Three times today I had to try and remember to be a valley. I view being a mountain as better. Doesn't the valley just lay there? Isn't it weaker? Isn't it boring? Who wants to hike along a valley floor, when Mt. Kilimanjaro is right in front of you? I see the valley as the place of no where, don't you drag your feet across a valley? It isn't connected to the earth, it is the earth. Isn't the mountain in the heavens? Anyway, I am tortured by this mantra, I'm not sure I will go by it.
So, the bottom line is I am conflicted. I am confused about my place in my family, my place on the earth and my place in my own life. Happy Easter to me. Now that I think about it, Easter is just as confused as I am. A holiday devoted to Christ, symbolized by a mammoth walking Bunny that leaves eggs in children's colorful baskets. What the? Unfortunately, it has always made since to me before.
Well, hoppy Easter anyway, from the great void that is somewhere between the valley and the mountain peaks!