I just read a story and I couldn't help but think of my childhood. I know I say a lot of negative about my up bringing but I do have a few invaluable experiences from those tough times that have completely shaped me. I remember my Mom crying because someone had left some money for her in our mail box right before Christmas. I don't know how much it was but I believe it was substantial. Sometimes food was left on our door step, like a whole roasted chicken and potatoes, and we never knew who left it and they probably didn't know how much we appreciated it.
I didn't realize until I was an older teenager how poor we were. I just remember thinking that our family was loved. People always wanted to give us stuff. "Give" is the operative word, I don't think it was forced or a "had" to. From these experiences, I have learned empathy and love towards all people. Holidays might have been a drain for my parents or even harsh, but they never let us feel it. Instead we learned how to make things from practically nothing and how to be charitable towards our neighbors. I absolutely love the Holidays. There is an electricity in the air and a feeling of "What can I do for you?" I am forever grateful to my parents for never letting me realize how hard times were, for always looking for opportunities to help others and for making Thanksgiving and Christmas a magical time of year.
I just wanted to publish this thought.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Compliments
I wonder why I constantly ignore compliments. I can give them fairly easily, and completely mean every word I say, but if I receive a compliment, I get weird and don't know what to say, or I answer weakly or even worse I say something like, "oh you, too." It's as if I can't quite believe them. Or I immediately assume "they are just being nice". But if I thought someone thought that about the compliment I gave them I would be bothered or assume they were insecure and needy. What does this say about me? I don't think I'm the only one who thinks this either.
Why is it that we believe everything negative said to us or about us? further more, why would we assume something is wrong with us and the compliment is just an emotional band aide?
I recently came across an incredibly beautiful women who came into the shop I'm interning in. She was looking to have some clothes designed to fit her newly acquired weight. She kept bringing up that she was about 15 to 20 pounds heavier now and was about to go back home to Texas for the Holidays, where she would be seeing family and friends she hadn't seen in years. What struck me about her was that she was a very striking women. One that probably had people watching her walk by, and one that no one was taking in her specific dimensions. She didn't know how people saw her. She saw what she thought people would be seeing her as. Anyway, what is 15 pounds on someone who has confidence, who dresses well and looks proportionate? After about a half an hour, listening to her try to convey what kind of dress she would like, and almost apologizing for her extra weight, I decided to say something. I walked out to the front of the store and gave her a compliment. I told her exactly what I saw and what I was sure everybody saw when looking at her. She began to cry. I didn't know quite how to react. I started feeling a little awkward and then realized that she believed the compliment. It occurred to me that she sooo needed to hear an unsolicited compliment. I'm like that.
I believe the negative insults I hurl at myself and if I get a compliment I usually assume it was a pity-praise. Isn't that silly? And why would I feel awkward once I gave her this compliment? I think it's lack of self confidence. I think it's a "what do you want from me" society I live in where I'm used to no freebies and something for nothing is suspicious.
So I conclude instead of giving a compliment in a sort of hit and run fashion, I'm going to give it and wait. I've learned the importance of praise, but I'm terrible at waiting around to see what happens to the praisee.
Why is it that we believe everything negative said to us or about us? further more, why would we assume something is wrong with us and the compliment is just an emotional band aide?
I recently came across an incredibly beautiful women who came into the shop I'm interning in. She was looking to have some clothes designed to fit her newly acquired weight. She kept bringing up that she was about 15 to 20 pounds heavier now and was about to go back home to Texas for the Holidays, where she would be seeing family and friends she hadn't seen in years. What struck me about her was that she was a very striking women. One that probably had people watching her walk by, and one that no one was taking in her specific dimensions. She didn't know how people saw her. She saw what she thought people would be seeing her as. Anyway, what is 15 pounds on someone who has confidence, who dresses well and looks proportionate? After about a half an hour, listening to her try to convey what kind of dress she would like, and almost apologizing for her extra weight, I decided to say something. I walked out to the front of the store and gave her a compliment. I told her exactly what I saw and what I was sure everybody saw when looking at her. She began to cry. I didn't know quite how to react. I started feeling a little awkward and then realized that she believed the compliment. It occurred to me that she sooo needed to hear an unsolicited compliment. I'm like that.
I believe the negative insults I hurl at myself and if I get a compliment I usually assume it was a pity-praise. Isn't that silly? And why would I feel awkward once I gave her this compliment? I think it's lack of self confidence. I think it's a "what do you want from me" society I live in where I'm used to no freebies and something for nothing is suspicious.
So I conclude instead of giving a compliment in a sort of hit and run fashion, I'm going to give it and wait. I've learned the importance of praise, but I'm terrible at waiting around to see what happens to the praisee.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Intro to Fashion 1010 Assignment #3
Since I missed the class presentation of Assignment #3, I decided to explain the process I went through. Bare with me…
For my project of making an accessory without sewing it, I tried several ideas.
First I had the brilliant thought of lashing a suede purse together. How hard could it be, right? I found the material, soft dark brown with a matching leather lashing string. I started by cutting out two large circles (patterned after a large metal popcorn bowl-I never use unless I need to trace large circles or in January for my husband’s awesome caramel corn which he makes for every New Year’s Eve) and a circular band to lash together the sides, the front, the back and the bottom. I bought double-sided infusible web which I used to iron a shiny silver Lame’ to the wrong side of both the back and front circles. I then proceeded to stab the thick suede with my scissors to make holes big enough for the leather lashing to fit through (my hole-punch wasn’t strong enough to make more than a dent). I began dragging the lashing from one side, through the bottom and ending on, of course, the other side. The round bag began to take shape, kind of. Because there were huge gaping holes in between the bound parts, I again took leather binding and crisscrossed back making an X over my seam. I did this the remaining of the purse. Once it was complete it didn’t resemble a circular bag, more like a monstrous gaping mouth with a silver Lame’ throat.
I then got the brilliant idea that grommets were the answer. I had stabbed the holes too large and had to sutcher the bottom and sides too tightly making my simple suede purse look more like a poorly assembled toe of a moccasin.
I dragged my six-year-old son back to the craft store with me under the strict instructions of finding the section with grommets and then the area that sold candy bars (stress-eating, and child bribery are key to any craft project). I found the grommets; I also located the eyelets directly next to them. What’s the difference? They were exactly the same size; they were exactly the same price. We bought a bag of each hoping that the weird gadget my mother-in-law loaned me would work with either. The gadget didn’t push the grommets or the eyelets through the suede. Instead it just mashed them up into tiny metal Cheerio’s. I took out my scissors and began to stab the new model of a square-ish purse. I stabbed a gash and then place the little grommets into the hole. I positioned the gadget around the grommet and squished it down. Sometimes it worked. Most times the eyelet fell back through. I tried to balance the grommet and laced the lashing through it to secure it. It ended up looking like a failed project.
My eleven-year-old daughter has taken up knitting with a loom. She has a plastic round loom and is working on a bright yellow yarn hat for her friend. What a great idea! I decided to make gloves. I bought many different spools of yarn, each brighter, and more expensive than the other. I read the instructions that came with the loom, ”for more information visit us on the web”. I did. I couldn’t find out how to make anything other than a scarf. What about gloves? Don’t people make knitted gloves any more? One of the five different sized looms featured a girl on the front sporting a Berry colored pair of fingerless gloves. I want to make fingerless gloves… I began to loom. Wrapping the yarn around each spindle and rewrapping another strand over the first, over and under, pull and repeat. I got better and quicker the more I practiced.
I ended up making more than seven pairs of fingerless gloves; only mine resemble colorful yarn and ribbon corsages. I have decided to call them Glovelets or Glorsages, anyway, I like how these three turned out and I will totally wear them, even if they aren’t really practical (when I pull them on I feel like Madonna circa 1980).
I spent approximately 40 hours and around one hundred dollars figuring out this creative endeavor. I’ll admit I was very frustrated with this assignment but have learned an invaluable lesson: It doesn’t matter how great the vision is, if it can’t be executed.
For my project of making an accessory without sewing it, I tried several ideas.
First I had the brilliant thought of lashing a suede purse together. How hard could it be, right? I found the material, soft dark brown with a matching leather lashing string. I started by cutting out two large circles (patterned after a large metal popcorn bowl-I never use unless I need to trace large circles or in January for my husband’s awesome caramel corn which he makes for every New Year’s Eve) and a circular band to lash together the sides, the front, the back and the bottom. I bought double-sided infusible web which I used to iron a shiny silver Lame’ to the wrong side of both the back and front circles. I then proceeded to stab the thick suede with my scissors to make holes big enough for the leather lashing to fit through (my hole-punch wasn’t strong enough to make more than a dent). I began dragging the lashing from one side, through the bottom and ending on, of course, the other side. The round bag began to take shape, kind of. Because there were huge gaping holes in between the bound parts, I again took leather binding and crisscrossed back making an X over my seam. I did this the remaining of the purse. Once it was complete it didn’t resemble a circular bag, more like a monstrous gaping mouth with a silver Lame’ throat.
I then got the brilliant idea that grommets were the answer. I had stabbed the holes too large and had to sutcher the bottom and sides too tightly making my simple suede purse look more like a poorly assembled toe of a moccasin.
I dragged my six-year-old son back to the craft store with me under the strict instructions of finding the section with grommets and then the area that sold candy bars (stress-eating, and child bribery are key to any craft project). I found the grommets; I also located the eyelets directly next to them. What’s the difference? They were exactly the same size; they were exactly the same price. We bought a bag of each hoping that the weird gadget my mother-in-law loaned me would work with either. The gadget didn’t push the grommets or the eyelets through the suede. Instead it just mashed them up into tiny metal Cheerio’s. I took out my scissors and began to stab the new model of a square-ish purse. I stabbed a gash and then place the little grommets into the hole. I positioned the gadget around the grommet and squished it down. Sometimes it worked. Most times the eyelet fell back through. I tried to balance the grommet and laced the lashing through it to secure it. It ended up looking like a failed project.
My eleven-year-old daughter has taken up knitting with a loom. She has a plastic round loom and is working on a bright yellow yarn hat for her friend. What a great idea! I decided to make gloves. I bought many different spools of yarn, each brighter, and more expensive than the other. I read the instructions that came with the loom, ”for more information visit us on the web”. I did. I couldn’t find out how to make anything other than a scarf. What about gloves? Don’t people make knitted gloves any more? One of the five different sized looms featured a girl on the front sporting a Berry colored pair of fingerless gloves. I want to make fingerless gloves… I began to loom. Wrapping the yarn around each spindle and rewrapping another strand over the first, over and under, pull and repeat. I got better and quicker the more I practiced.
I ended up making more than seven pairs of fingerless gloves; only mine resemble colorful yarn and ribbon corsages. I have decided to call them Glovelets or Glorsages, anyway, I like how these three turned out and I will totally wear them, even if they aren’t really practical (when I pull them on I feel like Madonna circa 1980).
I spent approximately 40 hours and around one hundred dollars figuring out this creative endeavor. I’ll admit I was very frustrated with this assignment but have learned an invaluable lesson: It doesn’t matter how great the vision is, if it can’t be executed.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
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